Go ahead and start the download and read while it’s finishing up…
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Last march I quit my job and moved up to Seattle to make a punk rock record. I can’t say that I made the record I set out to make – and even now, I’m still disappointed with how the record came out… but those reservations are almost entirely due to my sub-par mixing skills. Before this record, I hadn’t really ever rapped (well, there was one semi-instance on the first LP I put out), but like so many things on this record, it just happened (and not always in a good way). The setbacks were almost daily; switching amps, changing speakers, re-wiring guitars, sucking at vocals, changing keys, spending valuable days on a song, only to have it cut… By the time the rap aspect came into the picture, I had less than a month left – and that was supposed to be for mixing.
When I left Seattle (and went to chico), most songs were barely done – and all of them had room for improvement. I spent the next few months failing at mixing, and burning myself out even more. By September, it was literally all I had worked on for six months… I’d had enough with it, and sent it to over 100 labels and publications. One site published a review.
After that, I stopped entirely and more or less gave up. I never truly gave up, but I think very few people have experienced that level of failure/rejection. I’d been waiting over two years to make the record, and literally no one noticed it. I couldn’t understand. I made a damn good record, what did I do wrong? I was 23, jobless with a four year degree, having to sell my car/guitar, and sleeping in my buddy’s spare room – because I was essentially a bum. Without a doubt, those were the darkest months of my life (and there have been some dark days of sleeping in my car). I don’t mean to get held up on it, but I bring it up because those months literally made(and scarred) me into who I am now. It seems like it’s all I can sing about anymore, but those songs are for the future.
In late december I moved to Las Vegas and spent the next two months sleeping on my sister’s living room floor. Over that time period I began to start finding myself again (along with some sunshine)… particularly as a rapper. I wrote a lot of material that I know will be enjoyed by a lot of people (the helloX demo and the good feeling freestyle were done over this time period), but I still hadn’t done anything with this record. I eventually sat down and made some minor tweaks to them, but again, was never fully happy with the mixing.
Fast forward to today. Last week I remembered I still hadn’t ever officially released the record. I always thought I could sell it – but let’s be honest, if I tried to sell it, maybe two people would buy it. I didn’t make a record for two people to hear it – I want the whole world to hear it. I put thousands of dollars into making this album, but the dollars pale in comparison to the part of my soul that I gave to this project. I really don’t know what else to say… I felt it necessary to give this background, because now you can more fully understand where the words are coming from.
sidebar: if you’re offended by swearing, you should skip the first and last tracks. Also, you should stop taking life so seriously.
Without further ado (click the link below to download):
Thanks,
Grant McCracken